Listen up, Ladies.

As I scroll through my Facebook feed, I see these articles that people share, that pop up because of popularity, and so on. The titles sound similar to this list:

  • How to Please Him
  • Make Him Fall In Love and STAY in Love
  • 15 Things He Finds Hotter than a Thigh Gap
  • This is what He is Really Looking For

and so many more… It is so sad. You know what is even more sad? I read these articles. I wonder how I can become more what a guy is looking for, but when I realize that the man who will someday love me does not care about those things, I have to stop myself. Why make myself more appealing to many guys if there is a man out there who will love me for the rest of my life as I am now, as I will be ten years from now, and as I will be when I have white hair and dentures. That is the man I should wait for.

I know, I know. No one wants to hear the cliche line: “You are beautiful just the way you are.” I know I personally hate that line, and I still do not always believe it. BUT, I try. Do you know why? Because Jesus tells us that we are perfect, we are beautiful, we are His daughters. That is a hard voice to listen to though. You know what an easier voice to listen to is? The devil’s. The devil tells us things like we aren’t pretty enough or skinny enough or sexy enough or as desirable as a man needs… those. are. LIES.

The question is: why do we listen to the lies? Because this is a sinful and broken world, and I know I have internalized so many of these words that it is a constant struggle to not listen to them, so trust me, there is no judgement here. So instead of trying to ignore these lies (because that never really works), let’s put on the Armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) and find a way to protect ourselves when we are facing these battles, maybe on a daily, hourly, or minutely basis.

Song of Songs 4:7

You are altogether beautiful, my daughter; there is no flaw in you.

Do I believe this? No. Should I? Absolutely. The media, the tv shows, the models, the retailers, and even some of the women around us are the ones telling us that we are not good enough, but it only works because we believe it. Think of it from the perspective as if you are a mother (and if you are a mother, even better!) : when you become a mother, you will love your baby so much, unconditionally. You won’t care if your baby has brown hair or blonde hair, green eyes or blue, if they grow to be 6′ 4″ or are only 5′ 1″. To you, your child is perfect (even when they are screaming or disobeying or struggling). That is God views each and every one of us times a million! You know who else is going to live you so unconditionally that he can’t see your flaws and imperfections? The right man that God has chosen for you. The world, on the other hand, does not love you unconditionally. The world does not love any of us… it scorns us, judges us, and belittles us, so why do we give it so much control in our lives when our Father in heaven is telling us that we are so special?

1 Peter 3:3-4

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, ,unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

A gentle and quiet spirit is not just beautiful in God’s eyes, but also in the eyes of a God-fearing man, the only man that you should allow to pursue your heart. And I honestly mean this, men who look to outward beauty as a baseline for attraction are probably not seeking a serious, loving, lasting relationship. Protect yourself from getting hurt by the harsh and scorning judgement of the world which tells you to flaunt your body to be as sexy as possible. Is that really the attention you want to be seeking? I don’t want people to look at me and there first thought be “wow, she is so hot I would totally… (fill in the blank) to her”. To be real, I struggle with this though, because even though I don’t want that to be the impression I give off, I long to be noticed and have that attention. But God is telling me to wait for him (if my life lesson had to be summed up in one word it would be: patience).

Psalm 75:2

[The Lord says], “I choose the appointed time; it is I who judge with equity.”

This is tough to here, especially because we want something, we want it now. God on the other hand, has perfect timing. So instead of focusing on what is to come, why not live and love what you have right now? Enjoy being single; travel, have girl time, and grow closer to God during these single years.

When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy is a book that was recommended to me and I now recommend to others. I am by no means making some marketable pitch or advertisement, nor did I particularly agree with every word that is in the book. But what I did love was how real this book was when it came to struggling with loneliness, desires, and patience.

What I am trying to say is this: stop reading the articles about making yourself better for men, and start reading the Bible to find fulfillment in His promises. When you stop seeking things of this world and start pouring your heart into God, He will give you all that you in need. You don’t need a “Quick Fix to Singleness” or learn how to “Make Him Want You in 5 Steps”. And by no means am I ‘holier than thou’, I only write about this because I struggle with it every day, but I thank my heavenly Father for the blessings that He gives me everyday, and this is also my prayer for you.

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